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- <text id=90TT2719>
- <title>
- Oct. 15, 1990: Wide-Bodies On The Runway
- </title>
- <history>
- TIME--The Weekly Newsmagazine--1990
- Oct. 15, 1990 High Anxiety
- </history>
- <article>
- <source>Time Magazine</source>
- <hdr>
- BOOKS, Page 86
- Wide-Bodies On the Runway
- </hdr>
- <body>
- <p>Coupling adverbs and--surprise!--some good writing
- </p>
- <p>By JOHN SKOW
- </p>
- <p> Your connecting flight has been delayed another three hours,
- and you feel as if you are getting a lavender tan from the
- lighting. You are buzzed on cardboard coffee and too woozy from
- an airborne snackoid served on your incoming flight to risk
- alcohol. But do you despair? Of course you do. Do you give up?
- Certainly, by reaching into your flight bag and withdrawing one
- of this season's airport novels. You know the kind. Literary
- wide-bodies with plenty of plot that allow you to leave the
- real world in the first half paragraph and stay away through
- several flight-delay announcements. No-qual prose and
- cereal-box characters are customary, though an occasional lapse
- into good writing does no harm. The Odyssey and Moby Dick, both
- wide-bodies before their time, would have been perfect airport
- novels. Herewith a random grab of half a dozen new airporters,
- none written by Homer or Herman Melville:
- </p>
- <p> LADY BOSS, by Jackie Collins (Simon & Schuster; 608 pages;
- $21.95), offers the reader a rare opportunity to watch adverbs
- mate. "Slowly, languorously" the naughty parts of speech tumble
- about during the sex scenes. But why aren't the scenes sexier?
- Never mind. The point of the story is to watch "darkly,
- exotically" beautiful but ruthless, yet sensitive and
- vulnerable female tycoon Lucky Santangelo--she heads a
- billion-dollar shipping company but doesn't seem to go to the
- office much--knife her way to ownership of Panther films, a
- big Hollywood studio. This she does without telling her actor
- husband ("Lennie was tall and lanky, with dirty-blond hair and
- ocean-green eyes"), who is having contract troubles with
- Panther. Alas, she fails to consider that Lennie's fierce male
- pride will curdle when she reveals herself as his boss.
- Disaster! And he...And she...
- </p>
- <p> MEMORIES OF MIDNIGHT, by Sidney Sheldon (Morrow; 399 pages;
- $21.95), is one of a large and growing subgenre of
- evil-Greek-shipowner thrillers. Nasty fellows, those fictional
- Greek shipowners. This one, rich and loathsome Constantin
- Demiris, has arranged that his unfaithful mistress and her
- lover, Demiris' pilot, be executed for the supposed murder of
- the pilot's wife, beautiful, trusting American Catherine
- Alexander. But he is still angry, and he strides about his
- villa like Richard III, gloating in a long, italic aside about
- what he is going to do to Catherine, who lost her memory during
- a boat explosion and has been living in a rich, evil nunnery
- owned by Demiris. "It's too bad I can't afford to let her
- live," he whispers to empty air. "But first--my vengeance I'm
- going to enjoy myself with her." Reading Sheldon's drivel
- offers an important reassurance: travelers who stick with
- Demiris and Catherine till the end can endure whatever misery
- the airlines throw at them.
- </p>
- <p> SURRENDER THE PINK, by Carrie Fisher (Simon & Schuster; 286
- pages; $18.95), is the sort of novel writers write between
- novels, about the sort of love affair a young woman might have
- between affairs. It has the odd quality of being funny and well
- written, despite an occasional outbreak of coupling adverbs
- ("passionately, tenderly"). But it is utterly unmemorable. The
- author can't seem to care much about her heroine, a pretty but
- underexposed young woman named Dinah Kaufman who writes soap
- operas in Los Angeles. Although Dinah likes sex and wants to
- be in love, the men she meets are either too strong or too
- weak, never just right. In fact, the reader decides, the men
- are handsome fakes, big-jawed 42 regulars snipped from a Ralph
- Lauren ad to act out Dinah's problem. They meet Dinah in a fake
- world, where no one has money troubles and there's nothing
- between Los Angeles and East Hampton.
- </p>
- <p> THE POWER, by James Mills (Warner; 406 pages; $21.95), is
- a brave and probably foolhardy try at combining the structure
- of a conventional spy thriller with what spy fans are likely
- to consider a lot of annoying nonsense about occult forces and
- psychic phenomena. Jack Hammond is a U.S. spy who gets caught
- between two beautiful Soviet witches. Evil, gorgeous Darya can
- dematerialize herself and drive men mad with multiple orgasms.
- She can also fox computer memories and detonate nuclear
- warheads. Good, gorgeous Valentina uses the power of Jesus for
- psychic healing. Hammond's problem is to keep sickly General
- Secretary Yuri Andropov alive until Mikhail Gorbachev is able
- to take over. This reader's problem is that he doesn't believe
- a word of it.
- </p>
- <p> FOUR PAST MIDNIGHT, by Stephen King (Viking; 763 pages;
- $22.95), offers a quartet of horror novellas that show this
- vexing and engaging storyteller at close to his best. What has
- always charmed and exasperated about King's enormous run of
- books is a quality not exactly childlike--James Thurber could
- be childlike, and so could E.B. White--but rather
- teenager-like. The early teens, at that; King is stuck
- permanently at about 13 1/2. He bops through these stories with
- the mischievous imagination of a young adolescent, and also the
- wearying energy, sloppiness, ignorance and complete lack of
- subtlety and taste. At the length of a good ghost story, he is
- amusing and enjoyable with spooky stuff about, for example, an
- airliner, most of whose passengers disappear as it flies,
- leaving behind (wow!) their tooth fillings and pacemakers; and
- a well-sketched village miser who steals a Polaroid camera that
- obstinately produces shots of (eek!) a savage dog.
- </p>
- <p> THE FIRST MAN IN ROME, by Colleen McCullough (Morrow; 896
- pages; $22.95), is a truly astonishing work, the first of five
- planned volumes about life--mostly political life--in
- ancient Rome. Robert Graves covered this ground, in I,
- Claudius, and so did Shakespeare, for that matter. McCullough,
- who wrote The Thorn Birds, is not awed, and her narration
- marches sturdily through a period of fascinating turmoil in the
- last years of the Republic. Terrifying German barbarians have
- wiped out most of Rome's legions. The Senate dithers; Gaius
- Marius, a wealthy military man of low birth, has the energy but
- not the bloodline to save the situation. The author is
- interested in everything: how the city's sewers worked, how
- marriages were arranged, and how the horsehair plumes in a
- soldier's helmet could be detached for storage. She has drawn
- maps and even portraits of her characters, and supplied an
- encyclopedic glossary. The result, though dangerously
- overweight, is airport fiction at its best.
- </p>
-
- </body>
- </article>
- </text>
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